I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
