saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
