She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
