M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
