Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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