drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize