don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
