please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
