Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I love you.
Bad choice
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
