i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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