I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
