The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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