Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
