If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
