Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
