he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
