we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
last night I used snow as a chaser
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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