We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
