I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
