Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
