you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I believe in your delicious
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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