saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
