just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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