where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
