i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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