Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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