OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
