The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What a dumb baby whore.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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