Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize