2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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