C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
