can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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