there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it was like eating out sand paper
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
