I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
