My room smells like vodka and shame
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
