My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
