Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
