i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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