C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
