is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
