I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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