well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
