Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize