Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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