I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize