Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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