I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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