all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
