So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
