there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
