The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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