We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
