You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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