man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
