Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
