but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
