i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
