My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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