Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
